Sex addiction – there’s nothing wrong with that. Why shouldn’t one want to enjoy the most beautiful secondary matter in the world as often as possible? But so-called hypersexuality is accompanied by considerable problems.
What is hypersexuality?
Hypersexuality – colloquially known as sex addiction – is more than just a particularly pronounced libido and an exciting private life. For those affected, everything in their lives revolves around satisfying their insatiable sexual desire – and that can become a real problem.
Like gambling addiction or compulsive buying, sex addiction is a non-substance-related addiction. In principle, however, the feelings and behavior patterns of sex addicts are similar to those of alcoholics or drug addicts. Marriages, families and, last but not least, the addicts themselves often break up as a result.
Sexual addiction is a recognized disease: In the ICD-10 (“International Classification of Diseases”), hypersexuality, i.e. increased sexual desire, is listed under the code number F52.7 and counts as a sexual dysfunction. Now obsolete terms are nymphomania (in women) and satyriasis (in men).
Sex addiction – at what point does sexual desire become a problem?
Before sexual self-determination was something normal for women, they were quickly labeled as nymphomaniacs. It was enough to have sex before marriage or simply to enjoy it, and women were considered sex addicts. Fortunately, these times are over, but the question remains as to when one can speak of addictive behavior during sex.
The quantity of sexual partners or the frequency of sexual intercourse are not necessarily important. As long as pleasure, sensuality and enjoyment are in the foreground during sex, and it is only the most beautiful secondary thing in the world – not the main thing – everything is good. Addicts, however, are no longer in control of their behavior and think of nothing but sexual gratification. They always try to satisfy their desire, but they do not succeed.
What symptoms indicate sex addiction?
Sex addiction has basically the same symptoms as any addiction. The following warning signs should set off alarm bells:
- Compulsion: the desire for sex is irresistible to those affected. They feel a compulsive desire to sleep with other people, and the urge to satisfy their need dominates everything else.
- Loss of control: sex addicts are no longer in control of their desire and, in an emergency, do not shy away from aggression, violence or illegal activities to satisfy it.
- Tolerance formation and dose increase: Although sufferers do everything to satisfy their sexual desire, they rarely experience real satisfaction. They never get enough and have to increase the “dose” each time.
- Social withdrawal: Since hypersexuality is all about sex, other things no longer have a place in life. This also applies to social contacts such as friends, family and colleagues. Sex addicts withdraw from social life, neglecting hobbies and their jobs.
- Withdrawal symptoms: Physical withdrawal symptoms in the classic sense do not exist with sex addiction. However, hypersexuality can manifest itself through symptoms such as nervousness, anxiety, depression and almost unbearable inner turmoil when the addictive substance is not available.
- Secrecy and shame: Most of the time, sex addicts know that something is wrong with their behavior. Perhaps they have already been approached by relatives or friends about it. This leads to feelings of shame and guilt, as well as to those affected trying to conceal their addiction. Therefore, anonymous sex with strangers is often preferred or the desire is pursued through frequent masturbation and excessive consumption of porn.
Those who can no longer control their desire suffer. Soul and emotionally fulfilling relationships are no longer possible. The search for the next sexual thrill determines the whole life, thinking and feeling.
What are the causes behind hypersexuality?
There is no single cause for sex addiction. It is assumed that several unfavorable factors interact when an addictive disorder exists. These include, for example, a genetic predisposition to addictive behavior. Tumors in the adrenal cortex or some neurological disorders can also lead to an excessive sexual desire.
However, psychological factors are usually the trigger for addiction. Those who suffer from hypersexuality have not infrequently experienced emotional, physical or sexual abuse in childhood. This trauma results in self-esteem problems and agonizing feelings of shame, which are later displaced by sex. In addition, sometimes sex addiction occurs as a concomitant of other mental illnesses such as mania.
How can sex addiction be treated?
The best way out of hypersexuality is a so-called cognitive behavioral therapy. Those affected learn to understand how they got into the pathological addiction to eroticism and how they can deal with their feelings of inferiority, frustration and pressure differently in the future. If depression occurs as part of the addiction, antidepressants can also be useful.
If another illness, such as a tumor, a neurological or other mental illness, is suspected behind the sex addiction, this must be treated first and foremost.
Where else can sufferers get help?
In addition, sex addicts often find it helpful to talk to other sufferers in a self-help group. In Germany, for example, there is the German-speaking S. L. A. A. (“Sex- and Love-Addicts Anonymous”), which offers meetings in various German cities.
Sexaholics Anonymous Germany follows the 12-step program of Alcoholics Anonymous and also offers self-help groups for relatives of sex addicts through S-Anon.